Don't visit the banks on the first weekday of the month (Social Security checks are released and cause a huge line for those waiting to cash them).

Don't visit the banks on bi-weekly government paydays or the day after payday. (lines so long you'd think you were waiting the world's biggest, best roller coaster.)

Don't visit the banks on a Monday. Everyone and their cousin has written checks they can't cover over the weekend. Thus, they rush to the bank to make sure they're not charged with an overdraft fee.

If by chance gov't payday and SSI day occur on a Monday... a Perfect Storm results... causing mass hysteria, short tempers, and a lot of really happy Samoans ready to play Bingo.

Don't wait till Sunday to get cash from an ATM. (People load up on cash on Fridays and Saturdays... usually rendering the ATMs inoperable by Saturday night.)

Don't expect to find anyone at their desk on lunch hour. Government office lunch hours tend to run two and half hours per employee.

Sleeping on the job isn't just O.K.... it's encouraged. (we've fired more than one employee for this offense. and generally, they're appalled that there's a problem.)

Comp time is a secret way to funnel cash from your gov't employer. It becomes a secret way to pay for off-island trips, early retirement cashouts, and insurance in the case you should catch the ebola virus.

Money is dirty. It's not illegal... i'm just sayin'... it's not clean. Somehow, dollar bills look as if their previous owner threw it in the ground, stomped on it, used it as an address book, cleaned his teeth with it, and then blew his nose with it.

Credit cards are not widely accepted. Even Cost U More will occasionally go for weeks wherein they cannot process credit card payments. Thus... CASH IS KING.... even if it is nasty.

If you pass a bad check... be prepared to see your name listed in the newspaper and on the store wall.

'nuff said